The value of a third-party during a divorce

On behalf of <span class="byline-firm-name">Lake Toback Attorneys</span>

There were 33,789 divorces in Illinois in 2011, and while that number does not overshadow the number of happy Illinois marriages, it serves as a reminder that a fair number do end in divorce. A post-divorce coach ruminated about her own divorce experience that may prove insightful for some readers, involving her struggle with providing spousal maintenance.

Although child custody and property division are possibly the most divisive divorce legal issues that must be addressed, spousal maintenance is not far behind. The author’s former husband asked her to maintain him for a period of time while he returned to college, but the author initially did not approve of the suggestion. However, a conversation with a friend changed her mind. The friend pointed out that the author was being dominated by her emotions, and that agreeing to the maintenance would save her stress and preserve her mental health. She states that she still believes this was the right thing to do.

It’s important to remember that every divorce is fundamentally an adversarial lawsuit in which one spouse sues the other. It can be a frustrating, time-consuming process that marginalizes the emotional requirements of both parties in a maze of legal battles. Issues such as alimony, child support and property division aren’t just financial issues to resolve; they are fundamental components of a person’s life and entire well-being.

The unnamed friend in this case did the author a service by providing an objective, unbiased opinion about her circumstances that led her to a new perspective she may not have otherwise arrived at. Many people in similar circumstances could turn to a divorce lawyer experienced in mediation and other forms of conflict resolution to attempt to provide the same service.


Source: Huffington Post, “Do You Want To Be Right Or Do You Want To Be Happy?“, Debbi Dickinson, June 18, 2013

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The value of a third-party during a divorce